


Sirius Black's Nasty Little Habit

by Knockknockitssatan



Series: Turning Into You [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smoking, Underage Smoking, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 02:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11370945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knockknockitssatan/pseuds/Knockknockitssatan
Summary: This is my first short story that actually turned out OK. I suck at endings.Don't forget to comment!Enjoy my darlings!





	Sirius Black's Nasty Little Habit

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first short story that actually turned out OK. I suck at endings. 
> 
> Don't forget to comment!
> 
> Enjoy my darlings!

Remus Lupin was definitely not the 'goody two shoes' the school made him out to be. Anyone who knew the marauders well enough would tell you he was the rebel of the lot. He always had good marks and studied hard but never turned down a chance to play a prank or two. He was the brains behind the operation, that's why he rarely got caught.

Every once in a while Remus would stay up and stare out the window of his dorm room and watch the sky. He sat on the wide window sill and smoked a muggle cigarette in secret. He'd sneek in a pack or two coming back from holidays.

Remus sat close to the cold window and stared out over the school grounds. He wore a thick jumper to keep him warm from the cracked window. He leaned into the opening blowing the smoke outside.

"Those things'll kill you ya know?" A familiar smooth voice said from behind him.

"Yeah, well. It's this thing or another." He didn't turn around.

He watched out if the corner of his eye as Sirius sat beside him, his warm comforter wrapped snug around his thin body.

"Maybe you shouldn't add to the list." 

Remus turned to look at his friend.

"Some of us may want you to stick around for as long as possible. Who else is gonna plan the pranks on snivilus?"

Remus chuckled. "I thing James has got him covered." He took a long drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke outside.

"Can I try maybe?" Sirius asked.

Remus looked at him questioningly.

"What happened to 'those thing'll ya? Besides, once you start it's a pain in the arse to stop."

"Hippocrate." Sirius joked.

"One drag isn't gonna hurt me." He said wrapping the blanket tighter around him.

"You could cough on the smoke and choke to death." Remus's voice was bored and monotone. He gazed out the window with an emotionless expression.

"Why you gotta be so morbid Moony?'

Remus sighed. "Because I'm tired Pads."

"Then go to sleep." Sirius shrugged.

"Not that kind of tired you git." He chuckled. 

His small smile faded when he turned to look at Sirius.

"I mean tired of everything. Tired of living day by day knowing I'm not gonna live to see sixty. Tired of trying so hard but knowing it doesn't matter. Nothing will get better. It's all meaningless and there's no point in giving a shit." He closed his eyes and let the smoke travel deep into his lungs.

Sirius watched the smoke flow our the window. Instead of seeing toxic chemicals, he saw Remus's breath and how he let it leave him so slowly.

"Well, yeah. Nothings gonna change with that kind of attitude. You have so many people who care about and love you. Would you really take that away from us?"

Remus couldn't hold back the small smile as he looked in to Sirius's concerned eyes.

"You are so precious to me Moony." Sirius took a while to continue. It was as if he had practiced this and got stage fright at the last minute.

"I love you."

"I love you too Pads." Remus droned. His smile disappearing.

"No... I mean. I love you."

Remus knew what he meant, but he didn't want it to be true, for Pads's sake.

"Don't."

The silence grew deafening between the two until Remus spoke.

"I'm nothing special. Save all that cuddly shite for some girl."

Sirius scoffed. "I don't want a girl."

"Fine! Girl, boy, fucking tree! I don't give a shit just not me!"

Sirius whimpered like a wounded puppy.

"Do... Do you not feel the same about m-"

"Of course I do you berek. I'm just tired of disappointing people. I could die the next moon. It'd be sad because we're friends; but if we get closer, more intimate, I'll just hurt worse."

"Not as much as never having that closeness at all." Sirius had a point.

"Especially now that we know we feel the same way." Sirius scratched quietly on the wooden sil.

Silence.

"You deserve love Remus. some people become arse holes later in life and don't deserve to be spit on. Take it while you still can."

Remus smiled sadly at Sirius.

"Come here." Remus opened the window a little wider.

Sirius scooted closer.

"When I breath out, you breath in. OK?"

Sirius nodded.

The young werewolf held the cigarette between his lips and created a tunnel with his hands. Sirius placed his open mouth on the other side of his cupped hands.

Sirius listened to Remus breath in and out, letting the smoke travel through his hands, and onto Sirius's waiting lungs. Sirius took a deep breath and held it for a moment. He began to cough and quickly moved to the open window to let the smoke escape.

"Told you so." Remus said.

He patted Sirius's back and grabbed his chin, making the heir look him in the eyes.

Still coughing a little Sirius nodded.

"Wasn't that bad." His throat was scratchy now and he knew his eyes were watering.

"Let me try again." He said through labored breaths.

"No Padfoot." Remus laughed.

"I refuse to be the one that let you kill yourself."

"Now you know how I feel." Sirius said.

Remus looked into the silver eyes of his best mate. Never had he seen so much hurt and love all at once.

"Friends don't let friends do stupid stuff... Alone." A mischievious smile grew under his emotion filled eyes.

 Remus took another drag and leaned close to Sirius's face. He opened is mouth and watch their breaths mingle between them. Sirius's mouth remained closed as the transparent air from his nose cut and mixed with the white smoke.

Remus did it again. This time, as the smoke slowly left his lungs, Sirius melded their open mouths together. The sweet nicotine was shared back and forth between the two of them as their kiss deepened. 

Sirius pulled back with a smile and moved to the cracked window to blow out the smoke. He coughed again but not nearly as bad.

Remus smiled and caressed his face as he leaned their foreheads together.

Sirius took up smoking out of the blue. Some people said it was because he thought it made him look cool. It did but that was besides the point. That's the story he let everyone believe. No one really noticed he only smoked around Remus. Remus never really minded and sometimes seemed to enjoy the second hand.

Everyone said, "Those things'll kill you ya know?" But what's a step closer to death, if it means he's closer to Remus Lupin.


End file.
